A year ago, I found myself defeated on the platform. I was at a competition where I thought for sure I had my goal within reach. That this goal I had in my head was just minutes away without any more work to be done. The past few months leading up to it I kept pretending everything was going according to plan. Yet—foolishly—I believed that my body alone would take me there.
Good lord. This year felt very similar to last year, where I felt like to world was literally going to implode from stupidity. As much as I make fun of Idiocracy, has it come true? (Not saying that I’m the smartest person in the world, but that there are a significant amount of dummies running around.) Anyways. I made it, crawling to the end of the year surprisingly without one last break down and managed to nap real hard for 2 days straight to get my brain to function enough to reflect on the year. Enjoy.
Ever do that exercise that asks you to “describe yourself in one word?”
What word would you choose?
For myself, I use:
I was expecting to go to Worlds this year and reach a certain number. A certain rank. A certain win. What I came home with was very different than my expectations. I came home with a less-than-stellar performance. A loss of numbers. A loss in my head. But I realized it was never about winning at all. It was something else all together.